About Me

In my early highschool years, like every other student, I was urged to prepare for college. I didn't really grasp why having a degree was so undeniably important when people become successful without one all the time. More over I didn't understand why I had to make the decision so soon in my life when I didn't even know what life was all about yet. But college was the right way to go according to everyone at school and my parents and I didn't know better, so I went in the direction I was pointed to.

The hardest thing about getting ready for college was having to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to do everything I could possibly cram in before I die. But because of the rush, I just settled on Accounting because it covered more than one possible career potentially delaying the time I'd need to make an absolute decision. From what I read, it was all about numbers and I enjoyed math so I thought it could work. I seriously thought the hardest part was over or delayed for a long while anyway. Then my perspective on all of this changed in almost an instant.

College as a whole became an almost non-existent priority when I found out I was going to have another person to care for from the start of my senior year for the rest of my life. It wasn't that I forgot about college but rather my priorities changed. I was pregnant and felt almost as if I suddenly snapped out of the whole go-with-the-flow mentality following the direction I was pointed in. I was now obligated to work hard, very very very hard. On my own. Through which I found that, yeah, there will be people that will help you and friends and family who will care about you but absolutely no one who will hold your hand through all your trials and tribulations. It was tough.

However, I wasn't about to just give up and let people believe I was going to be a failure in life just because I made one decision that wasn't generally accepted as the right thing to do. So, I graduated high school, got several jobs and started college anyway. It was odd because to my very core I didn't feel like I was doing the right thing by being there. It was just something I was doing to satisfy everyone else because it was the "right way". I felt a need to learn more about life first before I invested my time, money, and effort in one direction. After all, I now had two lives my every decision directly affected.

During this time, I worked as a cashier at two different restaurants but my more solid job was a bookkeeper in which I learned many skills and the true meaning of responsibility. Work got demanding but I stuck with it slowly pushing cashiering and college aside to find out if accounting was something I really wanted to pursue. I found that it's one of the most important jobs in a company and it's also the most stressful. I liked it and I enjoyed it but I didn't love it. So when a new opportunity presented itself, I moved on.

Sometimes I think it was a calling because someone actually recommended a job to me at the precise moment I decided anything to do with the accounting was definitely not my "thing". I went to the interview not even knowing what the job description was, just downright ecstatic about the possibility of getting hired and learning a whole new field. All I know was I came out of that interview with all my hopes and wishes set on landing this job. It was perfect. I didn't know a thing, I didn't even understand what the position entailed. All I know was in the 30 minutes I sat in that office I just had the gut feeling like I was in the right place.

I got the job working full time at that engineering firm as an entry level project coordinator assisting project and construction managers, planners, and engineers. It turned out to be exactly what I've been looking for. Design and construction...who would have thought? The amount of knowledge I gained from those I worked with was incredible. I even had my second child during this time and it all still seemed right. It was exciting being surrounded by so many knowledgeable, accomplished professionals who had a passion for what they did. VOer time I found out what it was all about. Seeing a project planned on paper actually come to life was incredible. Even more if you played a part in helping it come to be. Kind of like watching your children grow.

But by this time, college was completely phased out of my life. I now was living real life with bills and a family to take care of.

As impossible as I knew it was, college still lingered at the back of my mind. Being surrounded by so many accomplished individuals makes you want it for yourself. And you definitely cannot be an engineer without a degree...I'm pretty sure that's how it works for 99.99% of the U.S. The thing was I still didn't feel comfortable to commit just yet.

Honestly, I don't know if it was because I felt the need to learn more about construction and design before I made a sure decision or because I thought spending even more time out of my life studying something I did everyday would bore me but I didn't know what to do.

Then these questions repeated over and over in my head: Am I cheating the company because what I ultimately want in life may not be consistent with what I do at work? Am I wasting space here? Am I taking a spot in the company that someone else more passionate about the field could fill? At that point, it didn't make sense to me anymore to work there if it wasn't my passion, you know. So there I was again, at the point where I felt the need to find out and make the decision, quick, about which direction I wanted to take for the rest of my life.

As you could probably tell from my past blogs, I no longer work at that engineering firm. But the experience was a major turning point in my life.

It made me think super hard about what I ultimately wanted to accomplish. And I found that instead of staying in one comfortable spot waiting for whatever it was to come to me I had to get up and progressively work toward my goal.

"Tell me and I forget, teach me and I remember, involve me and I learn" you've heard that quote before, right? I've been told, and taught but it was time to be involved. So here I am....